Manliness Battle!
by tarynmunchkin
Summary: Edward and Fang get into a very interesting arguement. Enough said.


**Hey everyone! First, I apologise to all my Quiet Forks Chaos fans for not posting in ages. I don't really have any excuses, other than I've been very distracted lately. :] **

**Uum... I can't think of anything to say about this... It was just a random thought that I had that amused me quite a bit. I hope you enjoy it!**

**Max's POV**

"Well, at least I don't sparkle," Fang fired, not even attempting to hide how much he wanted to beat Edward's face in. The Flock and Edward's family all noticed this as we stood around both Fang and Edward in our unconsciously made semicircle, waiting to see what happened next. Well, see as much as we could, considering we were standing outside in the moonlight. I was standing with my back to the house, the forest on my left, the moon on my right, shining directly onto Fang's back.

I'd been expecting something like this ever since we'd met the Cullen's in the forest the other day. Alice had said that Edward's nerves were frayed because he was worried about his girlfriend who they had to leave behind for a few weeks while they came here. She never said why they came here, but I didn't really care.

How long had they been at this? About an hour, I guess. Alice and I were the two girls that had tried to reason what they were doing, but we still weren't sure. As far as we could tell, they were deciding who's manlier. Boys are so strange.

"Chicks dig it," came Edward's reply to Fang's comment. Maybe it's just me, but that didn't sound like the way a 100-year-old vampire would talk... maybe he thought it made him blend.

Fang snarled at Edward and the favour was returned by Edward. Why were they so into this? They were acting like children.

"Well..." Fang said, satisfaction appearing on his smooth, olive-toned face. He was clearly leading up to something big.

Suddenly he flipped out his dark and beautiful wings, in all their 14-foot glory. He achieved his goal: flipping then out to their full length in just a split second. It wasn't an easy thing to do. And they definitely looked wonderful in the moonlight, shining silver at the very edges. He moved his wings up and down in a way that was far too slow to be called 'flapping', and it did add to the intimidating effect. That's the way to do it! He can be so hot sometimes! Forget I said that.

To add to that effect he straightened his back out of his menacing crouch, making him look taller. He knew he looked perfect, I could tell by the faint smirk on his lips.

He took a step forward as though he knew the breeze would come, just before it did. How did he do that? He always does things like that. That simple step forward put him into a stance that counteracted the breeze completely so that his wings wouldn't catch any air.

The breeze worked to his advantage and blew strands of his long hair out from around his face which also looked silver where the moonlight touched it. At this point he was ready to be asked to be the poster boy for "dramatic effects that come at just the right times".

Somehow he managed to take it to the next level by taking off like only he could: just jetting into the sky in a way that looked as though he hadn't even moved. No running start, nothing. Just straight up. He stopped just a few feet above the ground, so that he could see Edward's reaction, most probably.

"Beat that!" Fang shouted down to Edward who just did a little half smile. "I knew you wouldn't dare..." Fang had to stop right in the middle of his sentence because Edward leapt into the air, right at that moment. Fang couldn't get out of the way in time because he didn't have a chance to build up enough momentum. Heck, I couldn't even see it happen. Edward was back on the ground in a heap of feathers and vampire before I'd noticed he'd jumped. But he'd pulled Fang out of the air, and they'd both fallen, Edward ending up at the bottom of the pile on the grass.

Fang was mortified, I could see that.

"Aaw, man..." Iggy muttered in the background. He frowned and looked down at the grass in shame. It was like all men shared emotion. He wasn't even part of this, really, but he looked more upset about this than Fang did.

When looked away from Iggy, Fang had already righted himself and was back in his scowling position.

They exchanged looks, silently communicating something that I couldn't decipher.

Edward spoke first: "How fast do you fly?" He said this as a question, but he wasn't looking for an answer. He must've been trying to get to something else, but I couldn't tell what. But Fang made it clear.

"Bet I could beat _you_," he said, still not happy with Edward. You show him, Fang! Wait, when did I get into this?

"To that tree and back?" Edward pointed into the distance to a huge tree that stood above everything else. You couldn't miss it even though it was so far away.

Fang didn't reply properly. All he did was a Fang nod, just a twitch of his head. But Edward managed to see that, and motioned for the biggest vampire, Emmett. You know, it really didn't help Edward's cause, considering Emmett made him look like a child when they stood close together.

"Ref for us?" he asked Emmett.

"Whoa, I don't think I wanna be part of this," he replied, holding both his hands up in the universal 'whoa, Nelly' signal, with a smile on his face that was clearly an apology.

"Don't worry. If he tries anything then he's messing with all of us. He can't take all 5 of us on alone," he reassured.

"Yeah, I'm not stupid," Fang said matter-of-factly. This sentence called off the race.

"So you agree that I'm manlier?" Edward smirked.

Fang didn't falter and kept his cool, showing no emotion as he answered the question: "No, all I said was that 5 vampires against one man, no matter how awesome that man is, is an obvious win."

"Won't your friends help you?" Edward looked triumphant as though Fang was going to lose for sure. I guess he doesn't know the saying 'don't count your chickens before they hatch' because he counted none, but one definitely hatched. Get it? It's funny because Fang's the egg that... oh, never mind.

"They'll try," Fang started in a tone that made it sound obvious. "but there's no way I'm going to make a woman and a kid fight a battle that I started when they've already been through so much in their lives." Nice, Fang! There was no way out of it. Fang had chosen his words so carefully that Edward was completely incapable of punching holes in that argument.

"Wait, so that means I can help?" Iggy asked, hope showing on his face. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Alice staring at Iggy.

"She's wondering whether Iggy is blind." Angel whispered from my right side to. I jumped when I heard her voice. I'd completely forgotten that she'd been holding my hand. We'd been standing here so long that it had stopped registering after a while.

"But isn't it clear?" I asked Angel, just as Fang replied to Iggy with a 'yes' that showed of the more gravelly side of his voice. It matched with the look he was giving Edward. Iggy replied by pumping his fist, clearly very excited by everything.

"She thought he was at the beginning, but when she found out about our lives, she figured it was impossible," Angel replied. I guess it made sense. I nodded to Angel to show that I had heard.

I turned back just in time to hear Edward restart the argument: "You know, you really need a haircut." He straightened out to stand taller. Was he really happy with that weak argument?

"It comes with the emo territory," Fang growled. If his skin wasn't that olive-tone, you'd think he was a vampire purely because he does that growl so well.

"Emo? Really?" Edward asked, but he wasn't stupid. He knew, so he was only trying to get to something else...

"Yes, like a rock star?" Fang didn't think of himself highly at all.

"Aah, that's very interesting. So do you borrow eyeliner from one of your 'sisters' or do you have your own?" Edward asked, choking back laughter.

I heard Emmett snigger in the background, joined by Nudge.

"No, actually I got it from your room. Hope you don't mind." Fang could seriously be an actor. He wasn't trying to hide the obvious lie, but he didn't even flinch.

"Hmm, interesting. Those sorts of things end up in your room when you have sisters. You should know. Unless those red, lacy panties were yours," He said the last sentence in a way that made it sound like an after-thought. His voice was also flawless. They were both really good at shooting each other down.

"No, the red, lacy ones were given to me by one of my fans. I f you look closely they have her phone number on it. And her house address," Fang, I'm ashamed of you. How many times have I lectured Iggy for saying that if you have a pair of panties then you're superior as a man, now you go and do the same thing?

"Oh, that must be the reason they were so big. To fit all the writing on it. I just figured you couldn't get lucky with a slim beauty." Edward wiped all emotion off his face when he said this. It pissed Fang off even more.

"Well, even if it wasn't a slim beauty, at least I _can _get lucky. Which is more than I can say for you."

"Whoa, _burn!!!_" Iggy shouted from the sidelines. Fang smirked, not drawing his eyes away from Edward.

When Iggy says that, you know that it is no longer safe for children's ears. "O-kay," I shouted, putting emphasis on the 'o'. "Come on, Angel. Let's go inside. It's getting late."

I started walking, not letting go of Angel's hand. With my left hand, the free one, I motioned for Nudge to follow. She spun around and joined us. We headed back to the house.

As I was walking I heard Jasper speak, for what I thought must've been the first time tonight: "C'mon. We planned to go hunting tonight, right? Well, tonight's almost over, so let's get moving."

The whole of the Cullen's family dashed into the dark forest, not noticing that Edward had stayed behind.

Now I was curious. I told Nudge and Angel to go inside and wait for me, and I want back to stand next to Iggy who was still watching.

Fang's face told me he had a good idea: "Why don't we put a poll up, on tarynmunckin's profile, to see who's manlier?"

"Deal." Edward didn't stop scowling, but he shook hands with Fang.

That was his plan? Boys are weird. I spun around to start walking back to the house just as Edward ran into the forest and Iggy joined Fang, both letting their wings hang out around them loosely for effect, just in case Edward was still watching.

"Good job, man!" Iggy said, patting fang on the back, and I couldn't help but smile as I realised that Fang had been the last one to throw an insult.

**Okay, so what did you think? I wonder if I will get any angry reviews on this, considering there will definitely be conflicting parties after reading this. :] It doesn't matter; I'm open to any reviews. And flamers, as always, are welcome. **

**Now, for those of you who care, I have created a poll for this. The poll was Tummy Monster's idea (she's my wonderful beta, for those of you who don't know) and she needs credit for that.**

**But don't think Fang and Edward will be the only ones on there, I will add Iggy, Jasper, and Emmett so you can vote for them too. :] Go vote! Go! Hehe. **

**I was considering writing one of these from a boy's POV too (either Iggy or Fang, because doing it from Edward's or Jasper's POV will be difficult. And I already have another story from Emmett's POV.) But I'm not sure, so I will only do it if I'm sure it's worth my time. I will see how many good reviews I get, and decide from that. Also, poll votes will count. I'm not trying to bribe for reviews, but this is the already my second try at writing this, and I'm not sure I wanna do it again. But if you guys really like it, I will consider it. **

**Anyway, thanx for reading! Go vote for who you think is manlier! It will resolve many questions on this matter and will be appreciated. :] **


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